


Infinite Ends Where We Begin

by ironfamjam



Series: Irondad Bingo [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A bunch of mini AU's all together, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Big Brother Peter Parker, Gen, Irondad Bingo, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Endgame, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 02:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironfamjam/pseuds/ironfamjam
Summary: !Endgame Spoilers!When the snap opens portals to the multiverse, Peter can't help but jump through universe after universe trying to find Tony to bring him home. And while every Tony is different, Peter's a part of his life every time.Some things are constant no matter what world they're in.Irondad Bingo Prompt: Canon Divergence





	Infinite Ends Where We Begin

“Hey Mr. Stark, how’s it going today?” Peter crosses his legs, elbows digging into his thighs, “My day was pretty good. We got to watch this really cool documentary in class; it was about all the crazy stuff at the bottom of the ocean and did you know that the giant squid is real??” Peter blows out a breath, he’s trying so hard to smile. 

It hurts so much. 

“And then me and Ned built a Lego fortress, it had so many pieces and May had to yell at me to come home because I was gonna miss dinner and I’m not allowed to go Spidermanning if I didn’t eat first.” his voice drops into something halved and empty, “She said that was a good rule you made up.” 

The familiar well of grief rises inside him. Peter lifts a finger up to trace Tony’s name on the stone marking his final resting place. Tony Stark, it read, Earth’s Greatest Defender, Greater Husband, Greater Father. Peter clenches his eyes shut. His finger falls to the grass, clutching it tightly in his palms. It’s been six months. And every time he comes here, he’s still just as ripped apart, just as sucker punched, feeling just as betrayed as when the universe stole Tony away for the last time. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket. He doesn’t want to check it, but it seems to get even louder. He pulls it out, though he already knows who it’ll be. He dismisses the call and tries to swallow the guilt. Pepper doesn’t deserve that. But he can’t see her. He just can’t. Because seeing her means seeing Morgan and everything Peter had lost and Peter just- can’t. Morgan is the five years he could have had with Tony. Morgan is the feeling that his father figure became a real father. Morgan is the insecurity he desperately wants to hide. He wants to keep his memories to himself, pretend he was the important thing in Tony’s life. Just for a little bit. Just a little while longer. 

God he hates himself. 

Peter wipes his eyes, trying to muster up the strength to stop crying. “I’m sorry Mr. Stark. I’m the worst. I know I am. But I can’t- I can’t do it anymore. I’m trying to be- normal? Trying to be okay? I don’t- I don’t even understand how I could ever be okay. Everyone says I need to move on, and I know I have to, and I know you’d want me to but I just- I can’t. I can’t and I don’t want to and you should be here. You _deserve_ to be here. You saved the whole universe and everyone else got to go home. But not you.”

The wind blows through his hair and the tears pour despite himself because it felt like Tony’s fingers running through. 

“I wish you weren’t a hero.” 

It comes out without him meaning to say it. He hadn’t even known he thought that. But it’s true. If Tony had just stayed with Pepper in that little house next to the lake, then Peter would still have him. If Tony had just fought by his side during the battle than he wouldn’t have taken the gauntlet. If somebody else- anybody else- had done it, then Tony would have lived. And Peter feels the familiar sense of self-loathing at what he’s wishing but he doesn’t care anymore- he just doesn’t. He wants Tony. He wants him so badly that he feels the pain every day, with every breath. And he doesn’t care about the rest. 

Let it be someone else. 

For once, let it be someone else. 

“I miss you Mr. Stark.” His forehead falls against the stone. It’s cold to the touch. “I really love you. You knew that right? Please- I hope you knew that. And I wish- I wish I got to hear you say it too.”

Tony loved you, Happy said to him. Tony defied the laws of time for you, Pepper said to him. Tony thought you were the best of them, Rhodey said. Tony couldn’t bear what happened to you, Nebula told him. The world around Peter rushed to say what Tony could never get the chance to but the words rang hollow for Peter. Empty and meaningless and pointless without the heart that beat behind them. 

Peter’s legs feel heavy. His heart does too. But that’s not new. All he wants to do is just sit here, in a place that feels like Tony might still be next to him, a hint of a feeling, an echo of a touch, when screams rip through the air. 

Tensing, Peter looks up, eyes widening at the plume of smoke that puffs up from four blocks away. Standing up on shaky feet, Peter glances down at Tony’s tombstone, looking full of regret and loss. “I’m sorry Mr. Stark, I have to go. I’m sorry. I’ll come back soon.” He brushes the stone with the tips of his fingers like a parting kiss. 

Faintly, he remembers Tony’s lips pressed against his cheek like he couldn’t contain his love- and taps at his watch so that the Iron Spider envelops him. Soaring into the air, Peter webs his way over to the commotion, noting the screaming civilians running in all directions. When he sees what they’re running from, Peter’s whole body seizes, fear flooding through him. He’s never seen anything like it before. He’s seen aliens, immortals, monsters beyond imagination, but he’s never seen this. It looks like a mountain ablaze. As though fire took a corporeal form and wished to torment the earth. Where it moved, flames burst, melting the concrete beneath it and setting the buildings adjacent on fire. The world turned into a smoky haze of heat and ash and all Peter can do is tremble with the might of it. 

He can’t do anything. He can’t do anything. What’s Spiderman supposed to do against an element come to life? His webs couldn’t hold an intangible thing. His strength is meaningless without something to hold. Even his smarts, for all the good it did him, provided him nothing useful. 

But he has to try. He has to try. 

Tony wouldn’t have done nothing. 

Tony always made something from nothing. 

Rushing at the monster, Peter rolled to the ground, jumping up and down, yelling at the top of his lungs, “HEY! HEY YOU BIG UGLY FIRE BALL! OVER HERE!” 

If he could distract it from laying waste to the buildings, maybe he could lead it down to the bay. It was far and probably a stupid idea and most definitely a long-shot. But he can’t do nothing. He can’t. 

The monster roars and it sounds like the very earth is rumbling. Swallowing his fear, Peter keeps yelling to attract its attention, running as fast as he can. He can’t hear it chasing him, but he can feel the heat getting closer. Feel the flames licking at his back. His feet pound the pavement, he doesn’t know if he’s going to make it. The fire gets closer. His skin burns. It’s so hot. It’s so hot. He thinks of Tony. Tony wants him to live. Tony made him an Avenger.

He runs faster. 

Out of nowhere, the heat vanishes and Peter whips around, surprise etched in his brows when he sees Dr. Strange floating in front of him, his cape billowing, a yellow shield between them and the fire monster. “Need a hand?” Dr. Strange is just as wry as always and Peter lets himself give a half smile he knows the other can’t see.

“Was just about to call.” he lies. 

Dr. Strange flashes him a look like he can see right through him before jutting his head to the side. “We need to get this thing back to where it came from.” 

“What do you mean back where it came from? Like some freak lab experiment or something?” 

The monster roars and pushes against the shield. The sorcerer flinches, straining his fingers as he pushes back harder. Through gritted teeth he explains, “It’s hard to get into right now, but the multiverse is real and ever since the snap opened up a tear between our world and everyone else’s there’s been a few mix-ups.” 

Peter’s jaw drops. “Wait- you’re saying the multiverse is real?? That’s- that’s crazy, that’s so-”

“Listen kid, as much as I’d love to chat about infinity with you, we need to get rid of this thing asap before everything goes to hell. I need you to find the portal.”

Peter swallows down his excitement, shaking his wrists and bouncing from leg to leg like he’s revving up. “Yeah, yeah portal to another dimension. Sure, sure, totally cool. Right.”

“It should be close, it doesn’t look like this thing went far. The second you find it, let me know.”

“But how-”

An orange circle flits around his wrist. “Just pinch the light, it’ll help you find the portal and connect you right to me. Now hurry and go! We don’t have much time before it might close again.”

Peter nods, shooting a web at a streetlight and swinging up. “And whatever you do! Don’t go near it!” 

Peter shoots him a thumbs up though he doesn’t know if Dr. Strange sees it. He climbs up the tallest building on the block, trying to find anything that looks like a portal. The bracelet warms when he moves to the left and hesitantly, he follows it, watching as it gets brighter around his wrist. He webs his way across the crowded New York streets, jumping down in front of a translucent portal right where a deli used to be. “No way.” Peter whispers, staring at it like he’d just discovered a brand-new world. 

And in a way, he has. 

The portal changes colours, fluctuating between every spectrum, all the while keeping its translucent sheen that lets Peter just make out shapes and figures behind it. It’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. The most incredible thing. It’s proof for the existence of infinite universes. Proof of theories he had only read about as speculations. The discovery of this portal would be one of science’s most ground-breaking discoveries of all time. 

Unable to tear his eyes away from it, Peter pinches the light around his wrist, shakily bringing his hand up closer. “Uhh, Dr. Strange? I found the portal. It’s two blocks down.” 

“Great. I’m on my way. Keep everyone away from it and don’t go near it do you hear me?” no longer sarcastic, Peter can hear the genuine dread in his voice. 

Peter swallows, stepping back from the portal despite how it calls to him. “Copy that.”

But the longer he stares at it, the more he aches to touch it. The colours whisper to him. Energy sizzles all around the sides and the shapes behind the veil turn more solid. He thinks he sees a woman with long hair, a flash of a city scape, a man running, and the light of a faceplate shining- no, no way. Peter steps forward, heart hammering in his throat, the figure disappears but he knows what he saw. _He knows what he saw_. 

“Mr. Stark?” he breathes.  
And he’s running. 

“Mr. Stark? MR. STARK! Come back! Come back! Mr. St-” his fingers just scrape the light. 

He’s pulled back violently, the cloak almost suffocating him as he gasps. “NO!” he howls, fighting violently against the cloak’s grip.

“I told you not to touch it!” Dr. Strange looks fearsome, blood dripping down his eye and his stare hard and furious. “It’s trying to trick you into going in! Don’t let it!” 

Underneath the anger, Peter sees the fear. 

Dr. Strange heaves, grunting as he pulls the monster, now wrapped tightly in orange chains, into the portal. “I saw him! I saw Mr. Stark!” Peter yells, wrestling furiously within his bonds, but the cloak refuses to let go.

“No.” and the magma of his fury hardens into rock. A monument to their grief. “That’s not our Tony Stark. Our Tony’s gone Peter.” But even rocks melt and his face is weighed with mourning but Peter only fights harder.

“No. No! No! _No_!” 

Pained, Dr. Strange turns away, roaring as he shoves the monster back into its portal, the light expanding to accommodate its disfigured form. Tears well in Peter’s eyes as he hears the monster wail as it disappears. The portal changes colour. Faster and faster. Dr. Strange chants underneath his breath, whipping his hands around and around. The portal spins. Its colours change faster. Peter bites his lip so hard it bleeds. He’s yelling but the world ignores him and Dr. Strange with it. 

He saw Tony. He knows he saw Tony. And he doesn’t care if it isn’t his Tony because he’ll take whatever he can get. He misses him. He misses him so much and it doesn’t matter which universe it is, he’ll find Tony and bring him back and then everything will be okay again. A fervor in his heart that blinds him from reason, Peter rips the cloak off of him, throwing it to the ground. Sprinting, he rushes to the portal and this time, he can see Tony’s face clearly. He’s putting his shades down, his mouth opens and though Peter can’t hear him, he can see the words just as clearly. “Hey kid.” 

Peter’s heart aches. 

“Peter NO!” 

But Peter dives through the portal and the light consumes him whole. 

He feels like he’s being ripped apart. The colours collide against his skin, there’s the sound of the universe, he can feel the distance between galaxies. He feels _everything_. 

He appears. 

 

New York City is bustling. The crowd surges like a single body over sidewalks pockmarked with puddles and drizzles from rooftops. As the novelty of the new world wears off, Peter twists around, trying to find the portal that has now disappeared. He did it. He actually did it. He traveled to a new universe, an entirely new world parallel to his own. 

Is this the one he saw Tony in? 

He’s sure it was his Tony. The same red sunglasses, the same sweeping hair with streaks of grey, the same love in his smile when he called for him. Somewhere in this multiverse, there’s a Tony who’s the exact same as Peter’s own, except this one lived. And Peter is going to find him. And he’s going to bring him home. 

The excitement seeps into his bones. He’s going to see Tony again. He’s going to- his wrist burns and Peter flinches. The bracelet is glowing and Peter can see it sparking with streaks of light that look like remnants of the portal seeping into it. The burning subsides and Peter examines it further, twisting it between his fingers. Light explodes from his wrist, swirling into a portal that sucks him in before he can even yell. 

Peter blinks and sees New York again, but different. A lot different. He gapes, staring at his bracelet, glowing innocently on his wrist. Did he…did he suck the portal into his bracelet? Biting his lip, Peter figures he has nothing to lose when he squeezes it again and the portal bursts around him and he finds himself on a familiar road. He stares at his bracelet in awe. A little portable dimension hopper. His laugh is disbelieving but Peter doesn’t even care about the incredulity of it all. Because Peter knows where he is, he’s somewhere between his apartment and his walk to school, which means it’s a short subway ride to the Tower. Which means he’ll find Tony. After six months, he’ll finally see his mentor again. 

Stark Tower is where it’s always been but there’s no more Avengers section when he glances at the floor map in the lobby. In fact, there isn’t mention of the Avengers anywhere. Peter quirks a brow. That’s…strange. Even after everything that happened with the Accords, Tony still kept the Avengers memorabilia and spaces. He’s staring a bit like an idiot when someone claps him on the back. “Peter!” a man booms.

Peter doesn’t recognize him but the man doesn’t notice, staring at him in surprise. “Did you gain twenty pounds of muscle over night or what?” 

Peter laughs awkwardly, tugging at his sleeve. “Whaa-at?” 

The man whistles, “You gotta tell me your workout routine bud. Though I don’t know how you have the time what with the boss man working you so hard.” 

“Well you know,” Peter stumbles over his story, was he always this bad at lying? “lots to do. Clean energy, gadgets, Avengers stuff.”

“Avengers stuff?” he looks confused, “Is that the new project the R&D guys are all hush-hush about?” 

Peter gapes. “No man, the Avengers. Captain America, Black Widow, _Iron Man_??” 

The man bursts into laughter, shoving him in the shoulder playfully, “Ok that’s a good one. Tony’s making weapons for comic book characters. Fantastic.” the man shakes his head, “You should suggest that to him when you go up there.” he laughs again, shaking his head before waving and walking away.

Peter stares after him as he goes, confused beyond understanding until he suddenly remembers that he’s in a literal alternate universe. What’s a more obvious alternative than one where Steve Rogers dies in his time, Natasha Romanoff grows up a normal girl, and Tony Stark just stays Tony Stark. Still great, just in a different way. 

But wait-

The man’s comments about his build come back to him and Peter kinda wants to die. If there’s no superheroes then that means…oh no. Oh Godddd. In this world he’s just Peter Parker. Tiny, weaker than a thirteen year old, the world a blur, and his lifelong achievements? Lego building. And yet…despite all that, this version of Peter still ended up here? At the forefront of science? He walks the familiar route to the elevator and an AI that is distinctly not FRIDAY greets him. “Good afternoon Master Peter, how are you today?”

“Um…good?” he squeaks, noting the deepness of the voice and the light accent. 

“Shall I take you to where sir is working?” 

“Yes please.” 

The ride is only a minute long but it feels like hours with the anticipation boiling inside him. It’s been six months since Peter’s seen him. Six months. And now he’s alive again. And waiting to see him. The elevator opens up to an office floor where he can see Tony messing around with a whiteboard in a giant meeting room. Peter’s breath staccatos and he feels a familiar warmth well up inside him. He wants to run and throw his arms around him. But he doesn’t know if they’re there yet in this world. All too soon, Tony catches sight of Peter’s face, flashing him a look that just screams _oh finally_ and ushers him in with wild hand gestures. “And where exactly have you been Mr. Parker?”

And just like that, the wave of emotions gets tossed to the side in the name of self-preservation. “Umm side-tracked? I’m sorry Mr. Stark! Won’t happen again!” 

Tony pins him with his patented uh-huh stare when he squints, puffing out his lips. “Wait, where are your glasses. And why do you look buffer than a football kid on an athletics scholarship?”

“Contacts!” he blurts out, “Contacts! Real good stuff.” 

“I thought you said you hated contacts.” Tony peers into his eyes like he’s scrutinizing him and Peter swallows hard.

“I thought I’d give it a try. Shouldn’t knock it till you try it right sir?” 

Tony snorts, “If you say so kid.” he glances up at him from the corner of his eye, “But I like it. Shows your face more.” 

Peter ducks his head so Tony doesn’t see his blush. He missed this. He missed this so much. The back and forth, the lightness of their banter, the glitter in Tony’s eyes when he laughed. And Peter looks around and sees the world how it might have been if the universe hadn’t needed heroes and they both could just exist as people. But this isn’t his Tony. He looks like him and he talks like him but he can’t understand Peter. He’ll never be able to. 

But Peter doesn’t care. 

This world might not need a Spiderman, but he would always need Tony. So he sits down at the chair and listens to Tony regale him about his plans to expand the internship program and how he’s tasking Peter with co-developing and launching it. Peter just watches him talk with something like stars in his eyes and Tony must have noticed because he flicks Peter in the head, it doesn’t hurt, but it startles him out of his daze. “Hey!” 

“Earth to Peter.” 

“I’m here, I’m here.” he laughs, pushing away Tony’s poking hands.

“Any deep thoughts you want to share?” Tony sprawls across his chair, spinning in half circles idly. 

“Nothing.” Peter says honestly, “I’m just happy to be here. Doing this with you.” 

Tony freezes in his spinning, looking caught between spazzing and touched. “I’m really lucky to have this internship you know.” Peter says quickly, trying to overcome the moment. 

But he means it. The Tony he’s known has always been worried. Worried about the world, about his wife, about his friends, about his team, about him. Tony was a futurist, but more than hope, he saw threats. And those threats kept him up at night and haunted his every move. In this Tony though, Peter sees awe. A curiosity that only wants to grow. This Tony is enchanted by the universe. Wants to discover every part of it. He isn’t afraid of space and the infinite vastness of the universe because he doesn’t know there lurks things to be afraid of. This Tony is free. 

And Peter loves him all the more for it. 

This is what his Tony deserved. What he’ll always deserve. And now Peter gets to see that at least somewhere in the multiverse, Tony got it. 

“Don’t go getting all sappy on me kid. We agreed to keep that for Christmas and birthdays.”

“What? Thanksgiving doesn’t make the cut?”

Tony laughs. “Thanksgiving is about watching Rhodey eat his weight in turkey and then regret it immediately and that’s all.” 

“And pumpkin pie.” Peter adds.

“And pumpkin pie.” Tony agrees solemnly. 

But he changes gears, tilting his head. “But we talked about this didn’t we? Your imposter syndrome isn’t real. You belong here more than anyone else does. You’re the most brilliant kid I know. And one day you’ll even be more brilliant than yours truly.” he grins, wagging his brows. 

Tony’s trying to lighten the mood, but inside his heart, Peter feels a ball of sadness tighten. However glad he is that he got to see this Tony, this isn’t the man he came to love. He’s not the one he can take back with him either. Peter looks and because he’s adept at the practice, sees the fondness in the sparkle in Tony’s eye, in the relaxed posture of a man not on the defense, in the casual way his foot taps against Peter’s leg. This Tony loves this world’s Peter, but it hasn’t grown yet. It isn’t an unavoidable truth yet. And maybe that’s why the world needs conflict. Because it pushes us to our truths, forces us to confront realities that we’d rather hide from. 

This Tony Stark has never known war or loss but Peter is weary from his battles and he can’t find any comfort here. 

But there are some words inside him that he knows he has to say before he goes. “Mr. Stark,” he starts, standing up, “you’ve been the greatest mentor I ever thought I could have. I don’t know what you saw in me, but I’m glad you did even though sometimes I can’t see anything great in myself at all. You showed me that if I’m nothing without titles then I don’t deserve them and that’s only made me better. One day, I hope I’ll make your faith in me worth it. You’re the best Mr. Stark.” he smiles and he can feel the sadness behind it, “Even without the armor, you’re still my hero.” 

When he squeezes the bracelet, the last thing he sees is Tony’s face. 

 

When Peter emerges from the portal, he’s in a world that looks exactly like home. For a moment, he holds his breath, has he made it? Is he back? Even better, is he in a world where nothing’s changed except Tony’s death? Everything looks like home. The same stores line Queens, the same normal, average people, the same smell in the air. He feels like this is home. And yet, there’s something different. Something he can’t quite put his finger on. Maybe it’s the way people are looking at him. 

Peter stops, actually taking a moment to look around him. People are staring at him, pointing and whispering, someone even takes a photo. Furrowing his brows, Peter glances behind him, certain there must be someone famous, but there’s no one except the crowd. There’s a little excited gasp from across the street, Peter’s hearing picks up the way the girl shakes her friend’s arm, the slick material making a distinct sound. “Oh my God, is that Peter Stark?? Oh my God!! Quick!! Take a photo!” 

Peter gawks, whipping around to stare at the girl who pulls out her phone to take a not-sneaky photo of him looking shell-shocked. Did she just say Peter Stark? As in…him? As in…not a Parker? Peter shakes his head. No way- that was…that was imposs- he stops. Was it though? In a world of infinite universes, isn’t it plausible that in one of them, Peter really is Tony’s son? 

Peter can’t believe it. He can’t even imagine it. Being Tony’s son…Is he still Spiderman in this universe? Is Tony still Iron Man? Is that why they’re both famous? A well of emotions bursts inside him. He doesn’t know how to feel. He wonders about May. Is she still in his life somehow? Who’s his mother? Is she…is she still alive? 

Peter looks around at the city he could have lived in, in the life he could have had. And feels a lurch of yearning. He races down the street, calling for a taxi. The cab driver’s eyes widen when he sees him. “You’re Stark’s kid.” he says, pulling out into the street.

Peter doesn’t feel like he’s lying when he nods, an uncontrollable smile blooming on his face. “Yeah. That’s me.” 

When he gets to Stark Tower, Peter sprints inside, something hammering in his heart, a desperate need to see what this reality holds, see what the other Peter got to live like. See what could have been. He’s alone in the elevator and suddenly uncertain, Peter glances up shyly at the camera, “FRIDAY?” 

“Hello Peter. Shouldn’t you be in school right now?” 

Peter sags with relief. Okay. So some things are still the same. “It was a half-day.” he lies quickly, “Is my-” he licks his lips, unable to believe he’s really about to say it, that he can really say it, and this time it’ll be real, “is my dad here?” 

His heart explodes with butterflies of love. The words feel right. They feel like home. He almost wants to cry. “Boss is in the lab. Should I tell you’ve arrived?” 

“No. I want to surprise him.”

Peter rocks on the balls of his feet, nervousness nibbling at his stomach as the elevator doors slide open. Tony’s private floor looks the same, and yet, extraordinarily different all at once. The base is the same, the kitchen is where it always was, the same arched doorways and open concept style. And yet, there are photographs everywhere, Peter picks up a frame, it’s of him and Tony, there’s a giant 40th birthday cake and Peter’s laughing right into Tony’s collar. There’s another, this time, May’s holding a toddler Peter up in the air. Peter’s fingers tighten around that one, a watery smile on his face. So May’s a part of his life. Is she his mother then? A wedding photo of Pepper and Tony catches his eye. No…then…the possibility that his mother and Tony had made him flashes in his mind.

Ah…maybe that then. 

Tearing himself away from the photos outlining decades of happiness, Peter marvels at every other different thing. There are throws over the couches, scattered textbooks and comics all over the coffee table. There’s a jar of Nutella on the counter- a guilty pleasure of Peter’s- and an opened Lego set in the corner. It looks like a home. A real, true, loving home.

Peter glances back at the photographs, there’s one of Tony cradling a newborn Peter, staring at him like the world was in his eyes. The expression is hauntingly familiar. It’s the way Tony smiled at him before the end of everything, when he hugged him for the last time. Even then…in that world…had Tony loved him as much as this Tony did? 

Unable to contain it any longer, Peter rushes down the hall to the lab, bursting in on Tony sticking his arm in a holographic gauntlet. Tony glances up in surprise before frowning. “Are you skipping again Peter? Because I distinctly remember telling you not to do that. Didn’t I FRIDAY?” 

“Affirmative Boss. But Peter had a half-day today.” 

Tony frowns, taking his hand out of the hologram. “He did?” he scrunches his face, “Weird. I don’t usually forget that kinda stuff.” 

Peter’s smile is soft and longing and watery and he launches into Tony’s arms before he can say another word. Tony’s arms are slow to wrap around him, questions dancing in his eyes. “Kid? What’s wrong? You okay?”

Peter shakes his head. “I’m great. I’m super great.” he says, holding him tighter. 

Tony’s fingers are slow in his hair, but pick up speed as he settles in what Peter knows is a routine deep in his bones. Peter closes his eyes and imagines his life. He toys with this next idea, tumbles it around in his mind. But he wants to…he wants to pretend. Just a little bit. He pulls away and falls to sit on the bench. “Hey…dad?” 

The way Tony just tilts his head waiting for his question instead of falling over backwards at how life-changing it is to be called dad by Peter Parker has Peter’s heart racing. This world’s Peter calls Tony dad every day and Tony adores it; he can tell by the softness in his eyes. “Was it hard? Being a dad when you had all this other stuff going on?” he asks and watches as surprise spreads across Tony’s face.

“Everything worth anything in this life is hard Pete.” Tony’s smile is easy and confident, “But it was worth every second of lost sleep and agonizing over baby food flavors and diaper changes. I got you.” Tony slides his hand over Peter’s face to cup his cheek, “And I know I haven’t always been the greatest dad and I haven’t always been there when you needed me. But now that we’re finally on the same page, I think we can agree we’ve come a long way yeah?” 

“I know you tried your best. And I know there isn’t another person I trust more in the world. You’re my dad.” 

Tony’s eyes shine and Peter can’t look away. “I know you were always worried about being like your own dad, but you were never anything like him. Because even when you were mad at me, I knew it was just because you loved me. And I know I’m reckless and get into trouble and stress you out but thanks for putting up with me anyway.”

 _Thanks for protecting me_ Peter wants to say. But it doesn’t feel right here. 

“Hey, I didn’t raise you to be such a good communicator, who took over my parenting duties?” Tony tries to joke, but Peter can see how touched he is.

“Mom probably.” Peter takes a leap that that’s what he calls Pepper and his guess is rewarded when Tony throws his head back and laughs.

“What they say about better halves is true kiddo.” Tony stretches his arm behind his head, letting out a satisfied sigh. “Now I don’t know about you, but I was thinking we could finish up the updates on this new armor before the head of the household comes back and tells us to help with dinner before May comes.” 

Peter perks up, “May’s coming?” 

Tony looks at him curiously. “You bounce around the walls waiting for her to come back from her honeymoon and you suddenly forget the date she comes back?” 

Peter smacks a hand to his face, hiding his shock. “Oh man! I can’t believe I forgot! I’ve just been so tired.” he tries to look as pitiful as possible and from the way Tony’s eyes slant in sympathy, he thinks he sold it.

“C’mere kid, let’s ditch the lab work for today. We can just go watch a movie or something. We can watch your favourite.” Tony waggles his brows and Peter cheers. 

“Let me just move the lazer in place to power the new core.” Tony moves to get up, but Peter raises a hand, “No I got it dad!”

He can’t help but smile as he says it, jumping to the lever and pushing it in a half-circle until the lazer beam is dead centre. He turns around, still smiling when he catches sight of Tony’s shock. He’s brimming with disbelief, like he wanted to rub his eyes and check again. Peter takes a step back, confused at what went wrong before he looks at the lever again. “Shit.” he says.

Tony’s tensed, staring at him like he doesn’t know who he is. “Shit’s right. That thing weighs seven tonnes and you pushed it with one hand.” 

Peter kinda wants to die. “I can explain?” 

“I think you better explain who the hell you are and why you’re impersonating my kid. I knew he wouldn’t have forgotten about today.” 

Peter blinks, dropping his head to the ground. Not even a ten minute interaction and Tony’s already figured him out. “I’m not impersonating him.” he says softly, he looks up, a sad glimmer in his eyes, “I know what it looks like but I’m- I am Peter. I’m just not…your Peter.” and it kills him to say it. 

It kills him more than this Tony could ever know. 

“I’m sorry, _what_? You have five seconds to explain what the fuck is going on and where _my_ Peter is or I’m going to blast you back to wherever the hell you came from.” And it’s so odd being on the receiving end of Tony’s protective rage that it takes a moment for Peter to remember how to speak.

How could anyone face Tony Stark and not be petrified? Tony can’t channel lightening or wield magic or even boast about super-strength, but there’s a fury in his eyes that gives him a terrifying demeanor. A kind of look that taunts the might of the world to challenge him. A look that Peter knows means he’s faced death and said not today so why should he be afraid of anything else anymore? 

“You used to defend me like that.” he says and his lip feels tight and his eyes curve from loss, “One time, we were on a space ship to this planet called Titan and these guys ambushed us and their leader caught me and put this gun to my head and said he’d shoot me if you didn’t tell him where his team-mate was.” he smiles, sad and nostalgic, “Your suit was nanotech at that point, and you created the biggest gun I’d ever seen- and you never use guns- and pointed it at his other team-mate you caught and said, you shoot my guy and I shoot yours, come one let’s go! And I thought for sure the guy would let me go. Because you looked so ready to do it. For me.”

Tony’s staring at him like he wants to yell more but something stops him, he’s entranced by Peter’s story. He can’t seem to look away. There’s something about this kid. Something so much like his own. “That never happened. I think I’d remember going to space.” 

“I’m glad it hasn’t happened. That means this universe is a happier one. Mine isn’t. In my universe, you’re not my dad. Not my real one anyway. But just when we got close enough to say it, you died. And I couldn’t save you.” the tears pool at the edge of his lashes. “My Tony died but this Peter gets to call you dad and it isn’t- it’s not fair.” 

“I don’t know what it’s like for this Peter. But I know you’re a good dad. You have a daughter in my universe. Her name’s Morgan and she’s great apparently and she loved you so much. And I loved you. A lot.” he frowns, trying to look apologetic, “I’m sorry I lied to you. I just wanted to see how it would feel. To call you dad and have it be real.” Peter laughs, small and sorry and he turns to race out the door. 

“Wait! Peter!” and Peter wonders if it’s hard, to look at his face and feel so much love for his son knowing it isn’t really him.

Peter doesn’t look back. He doesn’t belong in this world. And he can’t take this Tony back with him. No matter how wonderful his life here might be. 

He runs down the hall and hears Tony’s footsteps behind him. He turns around, he doesn’t know why, maybe he just wants to see Tony desperate to catch him. See someone chase after him with just as much longing as he has chasing after Tony. He smiles at Tony, broken and grateful. “Thanks dad.” he whispers and pinches his bracelet.

In a flash of light, he’s gone. 

 

The next world he appears in is a world streaked with grey. The clouds roll in from the east, heavy with rain and thunder. The air rumbles around him and Peter hurries into the cover of a warm café where the chill has seeped right into his bones. New York still looks vaguely like New York, but there’s a demure quality in its residents. A desaturation of life. 

There’s a wary feeling inside of him, but Peter walks to the barista anyway, smiling softly. “Hi, I’m a little lost and I was wondering if you could help me find Stark Tower?” 

The chattering at the counter-top table stops. The strangers detach from their conversation to turn and stare at him. The barista gives him a heavy look. “You new here?”

Peter only stares. The barista shakes his head, “I’d stay away from that place kid. You don’t want to go there. There’s something evil about that place.”

The man at the counter scoffs, “It’s not the place. It’s what that guy’s hiding in there. We all know the Iron-” the man next to him elbows him hard in the chest, panic in his eyes.

“Shh! Are you crazy?? He’ll _hear you_.”

The man falls silent and Peter feels his mouth drying. “Wh-who’ll hear you? What’s Mr. Stark hiding?”

The barista shakes his head but silently, he points a shaky finger to the screen behind them. It’s CNN, the breaking news tagline flashes across the screen and Peter watches as a video in clear HD plays. There are three figures tied roughly to wooden chairs, gags stuffed in their mouths. Peter takes a step back. He knows these people. _He knows them_. 

Alexander Pierce stares at the screen with a pathetic snivel, tears drying in the creases of his eyes. Next to him, Nick Fury stares with two eyes looking hard and indominable. Beside him, chin held high, blue eyes blazing, Maria Hill. 

Oh no. 

Oh no. 

Peter takes a step to the door. He needs to save them. Whatever is going to happen can’t happen. But then he hears a voice. And inside him, his very soul shatters. “Good evening citizens of America, how we all doing tonight?”

He sounds different. Deeper, more automated, a subtle attempt at masking his identity. But Peter has been dreaming about that voice too much not to know him by the cadence of his words, the pauses in his speech, the very sound of his breath. Peter would know Tony blind. 

A shadow emerges from behind the hostages and Iron Man steps into the frame, his suit a muted red like dried blood and a vengeful black. “Something interesting,” he starts, “is that these three people have singlehandedly been in charge of monitoring, spying, and watching every single one of you and making decisions that have effected everything from our national security to the kinds of phones you’re allowed to buy and yet I’m pretty damn sure that this the first time you’re hearing about any of this.” 

Tony stops, standing directly behind Fury putting an armored hand on his head. “Nicholas Fury. Director of SHIELD, attempted creator of the Avengers Initiative, successful creator of Project Insight.” 

Fury’s head falls. 

“People of America, did you know that this man single-handedly started a project that would have had armed vigilantes with abilities beyond our wildest imaginations run wild and fight ‘villains and bad guys’ whenever and however they pleased?” 

The crowd in the café starts to mutter. Peter can sense the agitation in the air. 

“You heard me. The so-called Avengers Initiative would have had a bunch of hot-headed superhero wannabees parading across countries they didn’t belong to, causing who knows how many millions of dollars in property damage and collateral injuries and deaths all because this man,” Tony grabs Fury by the neck, pulling him sharply so that his head clangs against his chest plate, “could have the ego boost of controlling the world’s most overpaid para-military.” 

Tony drops him. “Disgusting.” he sneers.

He walks over to Pierce, sniveling with his body scrunched as though he could hide. “And this baby? Probably one of the most evil guys on the planet.” Tony laughs but it’s mirthless, “You think I’m bad? You haven’t seen anything yet.” 

“Three helicarriers built under Project Insight armed with target locating sniper guns that are set to fly around the globe and take out any enemy they think stands in their way and ‘national security.’” Tony’s air quotes match the savagery of his tone and Peter can smell the fear rolling off the crowd.

“Tell me America, do you feel safe? Is this how you let your government treat you? I’ve told you all before that this country is rotten right down to the core. I’m just here to carve out the rot and leave you with what’s left.”

The eyes of his face plate glow an ominous blue. “And if I have to bash a few heads in?” his hand wraps around Pierce’s throat. Tony cocks his head and Peter can just picture his perfect challenger face, “Well, you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. And I’m promising an endless buffet kids!” 

The snap of Pierce’s neck reverberates in the shock of the room. 

“You might be able to escape justice. But you can’t escape me.” 

Peter can’t breathe. He feels sick right down to his stomach. There’s a buzzing in his brain, a cacophony in his mind. He can’t think. He can’t _breathe_. This isn’t real. This couldn’t be real. He wants to go home. He wants to go home. 

But his Tony is dead. 

Peter’s eyes drag back up to the screen. And this Tony is twisted. 

But he’s alive. 

He doesn’t know what to do. He feels trapped in his confusion. A delirium of conflict that shouldn’t be a conflict but- this Tony’s _alive_. And maybe- maybe that’s enough. Maybe Peter can talk to him. Maybe he can change. He can’t leave this universe knowing what Tony has become. He can’t bear it. 

But his choice is made for him when the video audio glitches and the yelling of the anchors takes over. “It’s a trick! He’s attacking the Raft! He’s setting the prisoners free!” 

Peter’s eyes widen in horror. Only the worst of the worst got sent to the Raft. There’s no way Tony is- 

Peter runs out the doors. The clouds have finally emptied their sorrows, sheets of rain pierce through the sky. It’s cold and sharp and mix with the tears running down his cheeks. Peter runs like he’s never run before. He has to find him. He has to- he has to stop this. He can’t let Tony do this. He can’t let him go dark. Or darker than he already is. 

The Raft is in the middle of the ocean and even Peter can’t make that. But he doesn’t have to worry about it. Dozens of choppers storm through the rain and with one flick of his wrist, Peter’s webbed up, clinging to the underbelly. 

His teeth are chattering even in the warmth of the suit. But he knows it’s not from the cold. There’s a blackhole in his stomach, it clenches and hurts. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do. He just knows he can’t leave this universe without trying. 

The Raft looks pillaged when they arrive. The front door blown from its hinges, sparks popping from slashed wires. Peter drops from beneath the chopper, gliding down the rest of the way. He doesn’t take a second to breathe, the moment his feet touch the wet earth, he’s running in the direction of all the destruction. He follows a trail of carnage to a room filled with screens and buttons. 

Tony’s standing in front of one of the monitors, just looking at all the prisoners raging within their cells. He doesn’t turn around. “If you leave in three seconds I won’t kick your ass to next week.” 

Peter’s voice shakes. “I can’t do that.” 

Tony sighs, shoulders doing that exaggerated motion he did before he went on with some dramatic speech. The gesture makes Peter hurt somewhere so deep it cripples him. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

The shoulder plates move faster than Peter notices, sending four tiny missiles soaring his way. Peter jumps to the ceiling, watching as they explode right through the concrete walls behind him. His heart plummets to his stomach. Tony’s trying to kill him. Tony. 

His Tony. 

He drops to the ground just as Tony turns around, brow raised and whistles. “Impressive. But what you do when I actually try?”

The truth is, Peter doesn’t know. 

Iron Man’s always been his hero. _The_ hero. Who could beat Iron Man? In the end, no one could defeat Tony but Tony. And now Peter faces him, afraid and half-hearted, and knows this is a fight he will lose. 

Some things are just inevitable. 

Tony fires three repulsor blasts at him and launches through the air to land a solid punch that Peter only deflects with his golden spider legs. His arms are in front of his face and he flinches from Tony’s ferocity. There’s something ironic- there must be- that Tony’s trying to hurt him but the armor he made for Peter is saving him. Because Peter can’t bear to hit back. 

Tony’s firing at him from all sides, he lands a kick that sends Peter gasping for air when he collides into the far wall. His armor tries to protect him, but there’s little it can do when Peter refuses to protect himself. “Please.” he begs, “Please, I don’t want to fight you. Please don’t make me fight you.” 

But Tony ignores him, grabbing for his mask. It’s in that moment that Peter lashes out, shoving Tony with all his strength so that he tumbles to the ground. Tony can’t see his face. Not yet. He can’t- there’s just- not like this. Not like this. “Please I don’t want to hurt you. I _can’t."_ his voice shatters and the shame is hidden behind his grief when he can hear the sob reverberate through his pleas, " _Mr. Stark_.” he cries. 

And Tony’s rushing at him fist curled for a punch when he freezes mid-motion. “Kid?” 

And Peter’s eyes widen behind his mask. He’s breathing too fast. “Peter?” Tony says, like he can’t even breathe.

Peter wishes his mask away, tears pooling in his eyes. “Mr. Stark.” and his voice cracks as Tony’s entire expression crumples.

“Oh God. I did that to you.” Tony reaches to touch Peter’s cheek, still stinging from the bruise. 

His hand stays cupped against his face and there’s so much adoration in Tony’s eyes that every part of Peter feels like he’s at home but he knows he’s not. And he doesn’t understand. How can this Tony have so much goodness in his eyes when he was capable of so much evil? How could his love still make Peter want to close his eyes into his touch when he stroked fear into his heart just moments before. 

“You finally got around to betraying me too?” Tony asks softly and there’s a quiet resignation in his eyes. “Not a bad attempt at taking me down. They know I’d let you.”

“Only you.” he says, so quiet Peter can barely hear him. 

He feels like he’s dying. “No.” he breathes, “No, no I could never- I’d never do that Mr. Stark. I-”

“Then whatcha doing Petey-pie?” 

Peter’s hand rushes to grasp at Tony’s own. “I’m trying to stop you. From making a mistake. This isn’t- this isn’t you. You’re not the bad guy, you’re the- you’re the good guy. The best. This isn’t you.” 

Tony pulls his hand away, laughing coldly. “You knew what you were signing up for when you came with me Peter. Don’t act like I pulled the rug out from under you.” 

And Peter doesn’t quite know how to process that this version of Peter is still with Tony. Even after everything. 

“You can change. _We_ can change. Please Mr. Stark. Let’s go back to how it was.” he begs but Tony snaps, rage darkening his every feature.

“Go back to what? Our empty homes? Or did you forget that May died in the same accident Happy did? Did you forget what SHIELD did to us? How they destroyed us? Did you forget about their years- _years_ \- of blind corruption and fear-mongering and when they wanted to chain you up like an animal just because you’re different? Do you remember that Peter??” 

Peter takes a step back, fear making his lip tremble. This world sounds horrible. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be here. This world corrupted Tony. It hurt him in every possible way and it corrupted his own self too. And Peter couldn’t leave Tony like this. He just couldn’t. 

“I remember that you were the strongest person I’d ever met. I remember that you inspired me to always be better. That I tried so hard to make you proud of me. I remember that you were good. You used to be good Mr. Stark. I _know_ you’re still good.” 

Tony shakes. “I can’t go back. We can’t ever go back.” 

“We can.” Peter insists, walking towards him, grabbing his arms. “Together Mr. Stark. We can change again. Please. I can’t see you like this anymore. It’s killing me.” he bows his head against Tony’s chest. “Don’t you see that?” 

Tony shakes harder, his head falling against Peter’s own. “It’s too late for me Peter.” 

Peter pulls away, desperate to change his mind when there’s yelling down the hall. “Mr. Stark! I got rid of all the guards, you’re clear to open the cells!” 

Tony freezes, whipping around to stare at Peter in the most betrayed of ways. “What the-” 

Peter blanches and Tony fires up his repulsors, aiming them straight for Peter’s heart. Peter’s eyes snap up to meet his, wide and afraid and Tony hesitates, his hands trembling in the air. How could he shoot? When it’s Peter’s face staring back at him. 

The other Peter rounds the corner and when Peter stares at him he feels the oddest sort of dissonance. The other Peter’s mask is off and the fear is evident in his eyes. He sees Tony’s repulsors ready to go and Peter recognizes that terror of seeing Tony in a fight where the outcome was up in the air. The fear of losing him. The fear of never seeing him again. The fear of him dying right in front of you. 

He looks at Tony, caught in his rage and still trying to save the world. He’s become the rot he promised to carve away and Peter knows he can’t ever convince him to change. That Tony believes he’s too far gone for the light to reach him. But it’s not true. Peter knows it isn’t. “It’s not too late for you Mr. Stark. As long as you still love someone, you’re never too far gone to save.” 

He presses the bracelet, the portal swirls behind him. He catches the other Peter’s eyes. “Why did you do it?” he asks, though he already knows the answer. 

The other Peter looks at him with the most heartbroken expression Peter’s ever seen. “I couldn’t lose him.” 

Yeah. Peter closes his eyes. The Peter in this world would rather lose himself than Tony. This Peter wanted desperately not to be alone. Couldn’t bear to leave Tony against the world either. This Peter loved Tony more than he loved his convictions. 

Love is the death of duty.  
Peter sees that now. 

“Your love can teach you to be good again.” Peter says and watches Tony watching him with tears sliding over his lashes. 

Peter disappears, but he hopes his words never do. 

 

When he appears again, he’s in the middle of a battlefield. He’s still reeling from the emotional exhaustion of fighting the man he saw as a father but the energy of a war around him banishes his turmoil away. Giant aliens storm through portals all throughout the street and in the centre of it all, the Avengers form a circle, covering each other’s backs. Peter’s instinct is to go help them, but they burst into action and it’s so flawlessly cohesive that he’s awed into just watching. 

Iron Man cocks his head and Thor summons lightening that directs through the armor sending an epic blast through the horde of monsters. The Hulk picks Black Widow up, setting her on his shoulders while he soars through the air, coming down to the earth and smashing his fists into the concrete while she flips over a group of aliens scattering her widow’s bites above them. Steve storms through a crowd, ripping the aliens apart when one of them reaches from behind until Hawkeye’s arrow slices clean through him. 

“Nice shot Katniss.” Iron Man says from where he’s back to back to Natasha. 

“You must be pretty bored if you have time to be checking me out.” Hawkeye teases and Peter sees Steve trying to hide his smile. 

Iron Man flies into the air to charge at a floating fish-type monster when it gobbles him whole. Peter freezes, staring as Steve yells, “Tony!” before charging at the beast before Black Widow grabs his arm. 

“Don’t give up on our guy so fast Cap. Pepper banned him from dying remember?” but Peter can see the clear relief when Tony emerges out the other end, the fish-thing bursting into flames behind him. 

“That counts as three!”

“That’s cheating!” Thor yells, whipping his hammer into an arc with extra fury.

“Excuse you. How many giant aliens did you kill? Oh right, zero.” 

“Don’t get so cocky Tony, the battle’s still young.” Steve reprimands, throwing his shield into three aliens. 

The Hulk roars in agreement. 

Peter watches as the Avengers play to each other’s strengths, bolstering their team-mates abilities to their highest levels. He listens to their banter and their love so evident in their grins and surge of protectiveness every time one of them nears danger. This is the Avengers as a family. A real family. The kind Peter always knew Tony dreamed of. 

A part of him feels alone. 

Peter hates himself for it. He begrudges Tony’s happiness when he knows this is all he ever wanted because he wonders. If Tony already had the family he dreamed of with the Avengers, did he need Peter at all? 

He turns to walk away when he hears a familiar whoop. “Mr. Stark this is crazy!!” 

Peter turns to see another Spiderman, but this one broader, better built, taller too. Peter squints. Is he…older? Older him flips over a group of aliens, webbing them into a neat little array before the Iron Man faceplate whips up. “Peter what do you think you’re doing here? You have a thesis paper to write.” 

Hawkeye snorts from where he’s perched and Older Peter sags as dramatically as possible. “There are _aliens_ attacking the planet Mr. Stark and you’re mad about my thesis??”

“There are aliens attacking every week Peter!” 

Older Peter gapes. “I mean- well, yeah. But still!” 

“Tony’s right young man. We’ve got it covered.” Steve interjects, going to stand next to Tony like two disappointed dads. 

“Nat!” 

Natasha shrugs, “I don’t get involved in family disputes.” 

“I’m including you! As of this moment! As family you’re included!” 

Older Peter’s still losing his case when an attack from above has both Tony and Steve rushing to thrust Cap’s shield above their heads and Tony crouching over Older Peter’s body. Thor knocks out the offensive party with a bolt of lightning and Tony’s rushing to make sure Older Peter’s okay. 

Peter smiles to himself. Some things don’t change do they? He could be a full-fledged adult writing a thesis paper and a hero in his own right and Tony would still worry about him. 

His love was consistent like that. 

Peter reaches to press his bracelet when the Hulk suddenly detransforms. “Oh my God I left the cookies in the oven.” 

“Bruce!” Clint screeches, “My cookies!!” 

“I’m sorry! I got so hyped when the alarm rang and then we were all going and Steve was yelling about assembling-”

“I don’t _yell_ , I motivate.” 

Tony pats him on the arm. “We were all very motivated Cap.” 

“They’re gonna burn!” Bruce wails and Peter can’t help but laugh for the first time in a long time. 

His laughter catches Tony’s eye and he looks at him, confused, “Peter?” 

But Peter’s already gone. 

He’ll leave Tony to this happiness. At least in some universe, Tony has it all. 

 

When Peter opens his eyes, the world is in mourning. Maybe not the world, but there’s a procession of black cars following a hearse. Giant Iron Man murals decorate the sides of buildings and Peter’s throat tightens. No. _No_. Is he- is he back? To his own universe? Worse, is there another where Tony dies the same way? 

But through the glass of the car, Peter catches a glimpse of May’s face. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy from sobbing, her face a pale mess. But it’s May. Peter would know her anywhere. The Iron Man murals stare at him as he races through the streets to catch up to the cars. Whose funeral is it? Who would May be weeping over? 

The cars pull into a cemetery and Peter hides behind statues as he watches the procession get out. There’s May, being supported by a grief-stricken Happy, Dr. Strange, solemn faced, Wong beside him. The rest of the Avengers come out, Natasha included, and Peter stares. His suspicions are confirmed when Pepper, eyes red, steps out, holding a confused looking Morgan, clutching tightly to a Spiderman plushie. Peter stops. Morgan’s here. Morgan’s alive. That means…that means this is a Thanos timeline. But Natasha’s still alive. That means-

Tony Stark steps out of the car and Peter stops dead. 

He’s never seen the man look so wrecked. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. His hands shake and he walks like he’s lost in the world. There are no sunglasses to hide behind, no snarky smile, no million dollar look. He’s just a man. A man beaten until he gave up the fight. 

Behind him, Ned and MJ walk out, and MJ looks cold to the touch. 

Suddenly, Peter knows whose funeral it is. 

He feels outside of his body. What could anyone know, of the feeling of being alive in a universe you’ve ceased existing in? The feeling of being an imposter in your own skin because you don’t belong in the world anymore. 

Peter almost doesn’t want to look, but he follows after them and watches as May breaks into tears when his casket is lowered deep into the earth. He watches Tony bite his lip so hard it bleeds as he struggles to contain his emotions as Morgan clutches his leg, “Why are they putting Petey away. Why didn’t he wake up? Daddy why is Petey gone??”

And Tony shakes his head, a sob escaping him before he collapses into Pepper’s shoulder, her hand reaching up to caress his head, pressing soft kisses into his hair. 

Peter sees the date on his tombstone and feels the world stop. It’s the same date. He left on the 23rd of October 2023 and he’s arrived on the 23rd of October 2023. He knows it must have been the same for each of the universes he visited. But he can’t help but think it’s a sign. He was meant to come here. He was meant to come into this universe exactly like his own except that Tony lived and he died. 

But did really die? 

If this universe is identical to the one he left behind then couldn’t he just…stay? If everything is the same, then all his memories, all his feelings, everything that mattered is still all there. He could stay here. Live his life with May and watch her fall in love again. He could stay here with his friends, stop their tears. He could be with Tony. 

And there’d be no endings. No time-stamp. No expiration date. He could live a normal life again. Like he did before the first battle happened. Before he turned to dust. He could train with Rhodey again and sit in awe at his stories. He could drive around with Happy and badger him about burgers and ice cream until he pulled over. He could be with May, happy and free. He could work in the lab with Tony again. He could web across the city with Iron Man zooming behind him. He could feel Tony’s hands ruffling his hair. See his smile when he says, “I’m proud of you kid.” 

Hear him say I love you for the first time. 

This could have been his reality. This Peter had this life for six months until whatever happened happened. This Peter got to live in a world, however temporary, where everything was perfect and okay. _Really_ okay. Not the fake okay everyone kept telling him to make from the eternal cycle of loss his life had become. 

Why would he want to go home? When this was so much better? When he could live right here. In a world with a space waiting for him. He just needs to get this bracelet off his wrist. Needs to get the magic off. And for that, he needs Dr. Strange. 

He waits and watches the procession line up to say their final goodbyes. He watches as May can barely look at his face, so eerily still. How Happy gives him one sad look, fingers tracing the wood. “Don’t worry kid, I’ll take care of her.” 

He watches as Morgan is lifted by her mother to look at him, grief finally overcoming her confusion. She reaches for his face, flinches at how cold it is. Peter doesn’t know how he feels, staring at her crying over him. In those six months, did Peter actually go and talk to her? Did he overcome all those feelings he buried deep inside? Morgan buries her face Pepper’s neck and Peter knows that her sadness is real. He knows it deep in his heart and it aches for her. 

For the first time, he longs to hold her. 

Tony walks up to the casket and just cups his cheek. He bows his head. Peter expects him to say something. One last remark to send him off to heaven. But Tony doesn’t say a word. He can’t. And the fact that he’s robbed the great Tony Stark of words makes him hurt. In the face of his own death, at the end of the world, when he had snapped himself and his enemies out of existence, Tony Stark still got in the last word. 

But Peter’s death stole them all away. 

All Tony can do is bend down to press a lasting kiss against his brow, a tear sliding down his cheek. 

Peter looks away. 

He waits until the casket’s buried in the ground and tries to corner Dr. Strange alone. When the sorcerer sees him, he pales, going gaunt. Peter raises his hands defensively, “I know what you’re thinking. But I’m not back from the dead and I’m not an imposter and I’m really Peter! Peter Parker! But it’s a different me. Because I’m uhh-” he rubs the back of his neck, “I’m from a different dimension but I’m pretty sure I lived the exact same life except that I didn’t- well, I didn’t die…obviously.” 

Dr. Strange is still staring at him like he doesn’t believe what he’s seeing. “Listen- I know this is crazy. But I- I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be here. As in- stay here. Permanently. But I can’t do that because you put this bracelet thing on my wrist that helped me find the portal but then when I went through it, it got super spazzy and now it makes portals but I need you to get rid of it so I can stay. Here.” 

The colour returns to Dr. Strange’s face slowly. “You want me to help you _what_.”

“I want you to help me stay he-”

Dr. Strange raises a hand, “No I heard you. I’m just having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that you want me to mess with the balance of realities for you to stay here in the universe that we just buried you in. Do you have any idea how hard this was for your family?”

“That’s exactly why I should stay! So it won’t be hard!”

“That’s not how that works.” he retorts, but it’s quiet. Pained. 

“That’s exactly how it works! I know! I’m here because I know!” Peter yells, heated and rising to meet his condescension. 

Dr. Strange stops, his demeanor shrinks, gets gentler maybe. “Who are you trying to keep?” 

Peter’s eyes widen, unable to tear his gaze away. “Does it matter?” and he hates how small his voice sounds.

“Of course it matters.” 

“It doesn’t though! It doesn’t! Because everyone is alive in this universe! Every single person I love is here and okay and I can be here too! With them! Why won’t you let me!!” Peter yells and yells and all the frustration from everything he’s seen comes exploding out. “I’ve seen every kind of world and this one is the one where everything’s the same except it’s better- it’s _better_. Because it’s my world except Mr. Stark isn’t dead!” 

Dr. Strange said there were more than fourteen million outcomes in their battle against Thanos. Peter wonders if this is one of them. And if this version of Dr. Strange knows it. 

But Dr. Strange looks shocked. As if Tony’s mortality is something he’s never conceived of. “You fought Thanos and all the heroes came back.” Peter looks him straight in the eye, “Mine didn’t.” 

Dr. Strange looks like he wants to say something but there’s rustling in the bushes behind him and the sorcerer pales. “Tony.” 

Peter’s heart stops. 

Tony emerges from the trees looking incomplete, like the part that made him bright had just gone out. “We’re going to head out, and you came with so-” Tony catches sight of him and Peter doesn’t dare turn around.

He can hear Tony’s breathing. It’s gone erratic. Tight and too loud. Dr. Strange catches his eye and there’s something fighting inside them. He spreads his hands and the world around them stills. Peter twists around, sees Tony caught in time, mouth open like he was just about to call his name. 

Dr. Strange walks towards him and before Peter can stop him, he has his wrist in his grasp and he’s muttering, his other hand waving over the bracelet until it shines. Peter pulls away, betrayed and hurt. “What did you _do_?”

“I can’t make your choices for you Peter. But the next time you squeeze that bracelet, it’ll take you to where you most want to go and then it’ll disappear. It’s up to you now.” And Dr. Strange waves his hand again and time flows all around him.

“Kid?” Tony breathes and Peter moves towards him on instinct.

It’s out of his control. He’s compelled on a level deeper than he can understand. But when Tony calls, he runs. “Mr. Stark.” he gasps and he’s in his arms again and it feels right- more right than every other time because this is _his_ Tony in the closest way possible.

Tony’s arms around him are hesitant, they wrap around him like he doesn’t dare dream it’s real. “I’m hallucinating.” he says, “Shit, I’ve really gone crazy this time huh?” and yet he pulls Peter in closer, reality be damned. 

Peter shakes his head, pulling away though every bit of him wants to hold on tighter. “I’m real Mr. Stark. I’m real. I’m really Peter, look.” he grabs Tony’s hands, pressing them against his face, his cheeks still damp. 

Tony brushes away the memory of a tear with his thumb, staring at him like he’s something miraculous. “We buried you.” his voice trembles. 

“I know. I know I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I’m still Peter, just…Peter from a different universe.” 

Tony stares. “In my universe…when you snapped your fingers, you destroyed Thanos’ army, but the energy surge also opened up entries into the multiverse and I got lost in a portal and now I’m here. With you.” he smiles, laughing from the joy of it. 

Tony pulls away, shaking his head. “Nope. No way. That’s crazy. I’m just so in grief I’m making up stories. God-”

“Mr. Stark! I’m serious! I’m real! I swear! You’re not making up stories I came all this way to find you because I was meant to be right here.” 

Tony still looks unconvinced and Peter bludgeons his way through his words, trying to persuade him, “Look at my wrist!” he flaunts the glowing bracelet in Tony’s direction, “It’s the bracelet my Dr. Strange put on me to help me find the portal when we were getting rid of some super giant lava monster thing! But then I walked through the portal and it went all whoosh! And then it did something weird to my bracelet because now it makes portals and-” 

“You’re serious aren’t you? You’re seriously-?” Tony laughs, looking like he’s about to cry. “It’s really you?” 

Peter nods, fervent and pleading, “It’s really me.” 

And Tony grabs his wrist, pulling him in tightly again, squeezing him so hard Peter feels he’s going to burst from love. When Tony pulls away, he makes that same face he did during the final battle. Like he’s thanking the universe. Like the gratefulness gushes out of him. Like he can barely believe his luck but he’s so appreciative anyway. 

And then it changes just as swiftly, brows furrowing. “Wait- you _walked into the portal_?? Are you crazy?” 

“I had to! I saw you through it! And now I know why- I was supposed to come here and-and-”

Tony looks like he’s sorry. “And what?” he asks softly, “Take your own place?” 

“Why not?” and he knows he sounds like a child but this is what he wants, he wants it so badly it hurts. 

“Pete, it doesn’t work like that.” and Tony’s brushing his cheekbone with his fingers and the tears burst unprompted. 

“It can.” his voice cracks, “It _can_.” 

“We can’t replace the people we lost with each other. No matter how alike we might be to our other selves, we’ll never truly be them.”

“But it’s the _same_.” he insists again but Tony shakes his head.

“Six months. It’s been six months since the endgame. And they’ve been the happiest in my life.” Tony smiles and it’s so genuine it staggers him, “I got to see my baby girl bond with her older brother. I got to see you graduate high school. I saw Happy finally find joy with your aunt. Rhodey got promoted. The Avengers have retired but we’re together again. But always, the most important part of these six months was finally having my Peter back, being with the family he’d always belonged with, and will always belong to, no matter how much time passes that he’s not here.” 

“But I can be here. Please Mr. Stark. I can stay here with you. Please.” 

And every word Peter says feels like it’s stabbing Tony right through the heart from how desperately he wants it but how terrible it truly is. “Do you know how badly I miss you kid? You’d think it’d be easier to lose someone the second time, but it isn’t. It’s worse. So much worse because we had so much hope. So much naivety that nothing else could ever go wrong. I miss you in my lab. I miss you when I see Morgan holding her Spiderman toy. I miss you when I hug my daughter, because it reminds me of the son. I saw a Star Wars poster and felt absolutely gutted. I want you to stay so badly it kills me.” 

“Then let me.” Peter surges forward, his fingers digging into Tony’s arm. “You don’t know what it’s been like for me Mr. Stark. It’s been a few days for you but I’ve spent six months with you gone and I can’t _do it_ anymore. I can’t do it. Please don’t make me go back. Please don’t make me go.” 

“You have to Pete, you have to go.”

Peter shakes his head violently, his tears blurring his vision. “Your world lost its Iron Man and now it needs its Spiderman even more.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to be a hero. I just want you.” 

Tony’s expression crumples but he finds the resolve to look at him with so much fondness it blows Peter away. With so much pride it leaves him weak. With so much faith he wants to cry. “You don’t have to try Peter. You’re more of a hero than any of us were. And it’s not just about Spiderman. Peter Parker matters more to the universe then you can ever comprehend. And your May needs you. Your Ned, your MJ, your Happy, and Morgan needs her brother. They all need you.” 

“I don’t want to go without you.” his lip wobbles. “There are so many things I wanted to do with you. So many things I’d wish I’d said. That- that I wish you had the chance to say to me. I never told you that I loved you. And that I’m so happy you were a part of my life. And that you taught me about what it means to be a hero, to sacrifice, to do the right thing even though it hurts.” 

His eyes glimmer with all his regrets but Tony’s looking at him so gently that he can’t stop talking, “And I’m sorry I let you die. I’m sorry all I could do was cry when I saw you go instead of being strong for you. And I’m sorry I never went to talk to Morgan I- I didn’t know how because I- was jealous.” he bends his head, ashamed at the thought, “I wish I had that time. But I get it now. I get it now.” 

And he excepts Tony to be angry, but Tony wipes his tears gently with the pads of his thumbs. “Did you know I invented time travel for you?” Peter gapes, “The Avengers came to my door asking for their help with going back in time and I blew them off. I listed off failure after failure because I’d already tried. But that day, I remember thinking of you and that night, I worked harder than I ever had so I could bring you back.”

“And that battle? The final fight? When I saw you, I felt like everything had been worth it. Every tear, every hit, all the blood that we spilled getting to that point and I knew, in that moment, that no matter what happened, it would be okay. Because Morgan was alive, Pepper was alive, and you were right in my arms. And when I took the stones, I thought it would be it for me. But it would have been worth it, because I protected everyone I needed to protect and I brought back the only other person that mattered. And that’s you.” 

“And I know it’s hard. It’s always hard to lose someone you love.” Tony smiles to himself, though it’s broken, “But you’re going to be alright Peter. You’re going to be okay. Everything just takes time. And if your Tony died before saying all the important things, just know he felt them all anyway. Because there’s not a single Tony Stark in any of the universes where he doesn’t meet you and feel so much pride he might burst. Where he doesn’t feel so much love that he flips off the rules of time. Where you’re not always one of the best things that’s ever happened to him.” 

“I really love you Mr. Stark. I really, really do. And I miss you so much it hurts.” Peter blurts out. 

“Yeah, I miss you too kid. More than you’ll ever know.” he tucks Peter’s curls behind his ear, “But that’s the thing about love. It doesn’t die just because a person’s gone. That stuff lives forever. When you go back, you can go back knowing that your Tony died loving you with every part of him.” 

Tony lifts Peter’s wrist up slowly, sliding up his sleeve so that his bracelet shines. 

“I can’t. I can’t do it.” Peter’s voice is slick with tears.

“Together then.” Tony replies and he picks up Peter’s other hand and places it atop the bracelet. And with Tony squeezing his wrists and trying his hardest to smile through the loss that is inevitable in both their worlds, Peter pinches the light and tries to memorize the expression on Tony’s face when he told him he loved him. 

 

Peter falls to his knees, sobbing as watches the bracelet wither away and knows he’ll never get to see Tony ever again. His body sags to the ground but a warm hand rests on his shoulder. “Peter.” 

He looks up to see Dr. Strange’s compassionate eyes. “Dr. Strange.” he gasps and the man sits down next to him, not hugging him, but keeping his hand on Peter’s shoulder while he shakes with tears.

Eventually, the tears dry across his cheeks and his throat is hoarse. “Did you see him?” Dr. Strange asks.

Peter nods, sapped of the strength to speak.

“Did you tell him what you wanted to?” 

Peter nods again but sinks into his arms wrapped tightly against his knees. “It won’t ever be enough.” 

Dr. Strange shakes his head. “No. It won’t. But at least you got that one chance.”

They sit there for a while longer before Dr. Strange waves his hands around so an orange portal grows. “Time to go home Peter. Your aunt will be missing you.”

Peter gets up and his knees shake. They both step through and Peter’s standing in front of the building he’s lived in his whole life. “I’m sorry.” he finally says, “If I freaked you out.”

He’s not sorry for going. But he thinks Dr. Strange knows that. And he’s expecting a silent wave but Dr. Strange’s looking at him like he’s staring at something nostalgic. “You remind me of him you know. No matter where our souls go, part of them stay with us. You’ve got the best of him Peter. You should be proud of that.” 

He vanishes before Peter can say anything at all. But his words strike a chord deep inside him. It’s like Tony said. Love lives eternal in the stories we tell and the memories we made. And sometimes, love lives in the ones who fulfill your legacy, the seeds you sowed in your garden. 

And there was one other seed. 

 

Peter meets Morgan, _really_ meets her, on a Saturday afternoon. It’s a bit of a drive to the lake house Pepper still stays in, but Happy’s all too willing to take him. He misses Pepper and his niece after all. Peter’s nervous the entire way, but then he remembers the way Morgan clutched at the Spiderman plushie against her cheek and he tells himself to relax. 

When they get to the house, the curtains shift like someone’s thrown them back into place hastily and Peter snorts in spite of himself, smiling. Morgan is curled up into the couch, hidden by the height of it when Peter sits down beside her. “Hey.” he says, in almost a whisper.

She’s staring at him with Tony’s eyes. Expressive, wide, and so very brown. Peter’s heart clenches. “You’re Peter.” she says, still clutching her teddy bear close to her chest.

“And you’re Morgan.” 

She squishes her face and she looks so adorable Peter kinda wants to cry. “Are you the one from daddy’s stories?” 

“Depends, what were the stories?” he whispers.

She turns to him, looking more animated than he’s ever seen her. “Daddy had the best stories.” she declares, and Peter believes her.

“Yeah?”

“Uh huh. Like the one where you and daddy exploded something in his lab and mommy got really mad and called you mena-menaces.” she scrunches her nose as she gets the last word right and Peter bursts into snickers.

“It wasn’t our fault! DUM-E was supposed to be on fire control!” 

“I know. But you’re not supposed to trust DUM-E with that stuff because he’s a good boy but not the smartest boy.” she crosses her arms, trying to look serious. 

“You’re right. Totally right. A genius just like your dad.” 

“Daddy used to say he wished I could’ve met you. I wish he could be here. I think he’d be really happy.” her expression melts into one so familiar it makes Peter ache. 

Tentatively, he reaches for her and she looks at him with those warm wide eyes before leaning into his embrace. “He’d be so happy.” he says, holding her tight, “And I wish I came sooner. I have so many stories to tell you. About your dad and all the goofy things he did. And you can tell me stories too.” 

Morgan nods into his chest. “Okay.” 

And Peter starts telling her about the first time they’d ever met and he tells her about the video diaries he used to make and all about how Tony used to yell at him for staying out past curfew and how many times Tony protected him and all the love they used to share. Morgan sways near the end, her eyes droopy. Eventually, she falls, head in Peter’s lap and Peter keeps talking, lowering his voice. Without even thinking, his hand moves to her hair, fingers carding through like Tony had done to him before and he wonders if this is what moving on is supposed to feel like. 

That this is what Tony meant, when he said that tragedies can bring goodness because sometimes the best things that ever happened to you happened after something got stolen away. 

He looks at Morgan, her soft breaths the only sound in the room and thinks about what Tony said to him. The best parts of people live on in others. If Peter is his legacy, then Morgan is his heart and he knows in that moment that he would do anything to make sure she lived out the life Tony wanted for her. That she grows up happy and loved and safe. That he gives her boyfriends the treat her right or else talk. That he’ll take her swinging through the streets when she wanted a thrill. That he’d be her ears when she just needed someone to listen. That his whole life all he wanted was to be with his family. He has May, eternal and wonderful. He had Tony, a father so precious he’ll never forget. And now, he can be a brother. 

Tony died loving them and knowing they loved him just as much. And now Tony can rest knowing that his legacy was one of love that Peter would pour into Morgan, he’ll watch her grow. He’ll watch over her now that Tony can’t. 

Peter brushes Morgan’s cheek and hopes Tony’s happy. Wherever he’s resting. Because he knows now, how to be okay again. 

“Together then.” he whispers.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the thrill of hope](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21241103) by [chasingflower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingflower/pseuds/chasingflower)




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